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Dear Fellow Dragon Dreamers (and Gullible Humans),
Happy April Fools’ Day!
Or should I say… Happy “We Finally Got You” Day?
After last month’s heartfelt plea for everyone to respect and love dragons, I have a confession to make:
Dragons aren’t real.
I made the whole thing up.
Every majestic wing, every wise golden eye, every hoard of glittering treasure — complete fiction. I’ve been gaslighting you with Photoshopped clouds and AI-generated scales for 47 issues. The “ancient wisdom” was just me copying lines from fortune cookies. The Chinese Long dragons? Marketing. Quetzalcoatl? Just a really ambitious feathered snake with a PR team.
I’m so sorry.
(Wait… did your heart just sink a little? Good. That means it worked.)
But Wait — The Ultimate April Fools’ Reveal
Actually… Dragons are real, and they’ve been pranking us this entire time.
Think about it:
• Every time you “lose” your keys, that was a tiny invisible dragon borrowing them for joyrides.
• That “traffic jam” you sat in yesterday? Caused by a dragon doing barrel rolls above the highway, creating wind shear.
• Your socks disappearing in the dryer? Baby dragons collecting nesting material. They prefer the left ones — they’re softer.
And the biggest prank of all?
Scientists have known about dragons for years, but they covered it up because admitting fire-breathing lizards exist would crash the entire “dinosaurs went extinct” narrative. The proof? Lava. Obviously dragon burps. Volcanoes are just dragon litter boxes.
I have exclusive leaked footage (sent by a very trustworthy anonymous wyvern named Steve):
[Imagine dramatic blurry video of a “dragon” that’s clearly just a guy in a dollar-store costume breathing out a vape cloud while yelling “I’m majestic!”]
Top 10 April Fools’ Pranks Dragons Have Pulled on Humanity
1. The “Extinction” Myth – Told everyone they died with the dinosaurs. Classic misdirection.
2. “Global Warming” – Just dragons turning up the thermostat. They like it toasty.
3. Missing Plane Flights – Dragons using them as Uber.
4. Your Wi-Fi Dropping – Dragons chewing on the satellite cables for fun.
5. Politicians – Self-explanatory. Shape-shifting dragons with terrible acting skills.
6. Coffee Running Out – Baby dragons stealing it for “energy hoards.”
7. That One Friend Who’s Always Late – Riding a dragon. Obviously.
8. Taxes – Dragons invented them so humans stay too busy to hunt for hoards.
9. Cat Videos – Distraction tactic so we don’t notice the dragons living in our ceilings.
10. April Fools’ Day itself – Invented by a bored dragon in 1582 who thought “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if humans lied to each other one day a year?”
Urgent Public Service Announcement
If you see a dragon today, do not panic.
Instead, offer it a snack (preferably shiny or chocolate).
Say “Nice prank, Your Scaliness” and bow slightly.
They respect good sportsmanship.
And whatever you do… don’t check your bank account today. That “free money glitch” notification you got this morning? Yeah… dragon prank.
Final Roar (This Time With Snickering)
So, was this entire newsletter a prank?
Or is the real prank that dragons are real and you’re now questioning everything?
You’ll never know.
Stay scaly, stay suspicious, and remember:
If something seems too majestic to be true… it probably is.
Happy April Fools’ from the entire Dragon Herald team
(including our intern, Spark the Baby Dragon, who definitely did not eat the last issue’s paper stock)
P.S. Your dragon name is now officially Gullible McPrankedWing. Wear it with pride.
P.P.S. Reply with your best dragon prank idea. The funniest one gets featured next month… or does it? 😏
Unsubscribe ← Click here if you believe dragons aren’t real (we’ll know you’re lying)
Join the Hoard ← For more premium pranks and zero actual treasure
This newsletter was 100% dragon-approved. Or was it? 🐉😂